4 Truths Scriptures Taught Me About Dating

I was recently asked at my church to speak to teens on the topic of dating. This, my friend, is even more controversial than the topic regarding music! Because it seems to me that men and women are two different species: We look, function, act, smell, and communicate differently. Speaking of which, I recently learned that there are 5 deadly terms used by a woman:

·      * “Fine:” This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right but needs you to stop speaking.

·     *  “Nothing:” Means something & you need to be worried

·      * “Go ahead:” This is a dare, not permission. Do not do it!

·      * “That’s ok:” She is thinking long & hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake

·      * “Wow:” This is not a compliment; she is amazed that one person could be so ignorant.

You see? However, the Lord, in His infinite wisdom saw that “it was not good for man to be alone”[1] and that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”[2]

# 1: God is not a withholder

“Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’”[3]  This was the implicit lie Satan sold Eve on the Garden of Eden. In other words, God withholds and forbids His people of everything and that of which is is GOOD.

     ·      You can’t go dancing

     ·      You can’t have fun on the Sabbath

     ·      You can’t listen to music

     ·      You can’t wear jewelry

     ·      You can’t dress like everyone else does

o   Shorts that cover your ankle are allowed, btw.

     ·      You can’t date until you are older

     ·      And you certainly CANNOT have sex

However, Scripture teaches me that “For as many as are the promises of God, in Him they are YES; therefore also through Him is our Amen to the glory of God through us.”[4]

Our God is a God of “Yes”, and wants to give us the best of the best.

#2: It is normal to want to be in a dating relationship

“But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.”[5] “Let Us make man in Our image according to Our likeness.”[6] “God is love.”[7] Scripture here seems to suggest, very loudly, that we have been engineered to love and to be loved. Honestly, I don’t know why parents freak out when their teenage girl wants to start dating. Did they forget they were once teenagers and had the same hormone rush their young ones now have? Even the Backstreet boys sang about it, “Tell me the meaning of being lonely.” (Please tell me you know this song…)

“My daughters will be the first Adventists nuns”, I once heard someone express (joking of course). We all have that necessity to be with someone. Regardless of the age, everyone feels attracted to the opposite sex. IT IS NORMAL, and don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.

#3: Enjoy the moment of your life

“Rejoice with the woman of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love”[8] –Can someone praise the Lord for this verse!–

Matt Killingworth, a health and society scholar, who obtained his doctorate in Psychology with Harvard University, wrote his thesis on happiness and states that there is no such thing as happiness but just moments of happiness.[9] Perhaps he is right since scripture states, “to everything there is a time. A time to be born, and a time to die. A time to break down and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh…”[10]

What does this mean?

     1)   If you are in a dating relationship then you are suppose to enjoy it!

     2)   If you are single then enjoy it too!

a.     (think of all the money you can save!... Kidding…)

Dating is fun and is good, but you might ruin it along the way. I know several couples who have been dating a while now, and their courtship has turned into a manipulative, obsessive, pointless, unhealthy relationship. They are not happy but they still fight at it to “make things work” because “they love each other.”

Remember, there is a time to build up but there is also a time break up.

Let the boy sing, "I should have bought you flowers... And held your hand..." No one ever died from a broken heart. 

A very wise king once said, “You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these thins God will bring you into judgment.”[11]

Truth #4: Know who you are: IDENTITY

The Bible does not say how old one should be in order to date or get married. Sarah, wife of Abraham, was around 90 years old when she gave birth to Isaac. On the other hand, Mary, who is described as a woman after God’s heart, was only a teenager when gave birth to Jesus (and married Joseph). Both of these women knew who they were and their purpose in life. You have heard the saying from out Latino mothers, “Mocoso, no te sabes limpiar las nalgas y ya quieres tener novia!”. I’m sorry, but there is no fair translation that would do justice to such traditional statement!

·      Are you a David? –Teenage warrior for God

·      Are you a Samuel? –Dedicated to the Lord from a very young age

·      Are you a Jeremiah? –Set apart to be a prophet (who never married, btw)

·      Are you a Solomon? –I hope not.

·      Are you a Ahab (Jezebel’s husband)? Superman… Supermandilón (Spanish joke).

At any rate, know who you are. Pray about what God wants for you, where God wants you to go, and who He wants you to court. Remember, “Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be given to you as well.”[12]

Blessings,

Pr. Sergio Ochaeta

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[1] Genesis 2:18

[2] Genesis 2:24

[3] Genesis 3:1

[4] 2 Corinthians 1:20

[5] Genesis 2:20

[6] Genesis 1:26

[7] 1 John 4:8

[8]  Proverbs 5:18-20

[9] http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~mkilling/

[10] Ecclesiastes 3

[11] Ecclesiastes 11:9

[12] Matthew 6:33

Divine Appointments - A lifestyle

“The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few.”

            One of my favorite bible verses is Psalm 40:1. It reads, “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.” Such statement gives me a clearer picture of how much our God cares to hear the plead of His children. Not only how much He cares but also that He is willing to do something about it. However, we often pray so we can be the passive subjects of the blessing rather than the active subjects of such. In other words, you pray so that somebody may be the answer to your prayers rather than you being the vessel God uses to answer other people’s prayers.

The ironic thing is that I’m not sure if the passive subjects of God’s blessings are more joyful than those who are active agents of God, delivering these blessings. But in my experience I’ve found much greater joy with the latter.

Matthew 9:35-38 says, “Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, ‘the harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.’”

1)   Jesus went: Implies a desire to do God’s will.

     2)   Healing every sickness: Jesus’ method of effective ministry was to meet the primary necessities of the people. Find a way to do the same.

     3)   Saw the multitudes: God provided Jesus a crowd so he can minister. There is at least ONE person that looks up to you –minister to that somebody.

      4)   Therefore pray: The Holy Spirit is the One who convinces of sin, without Him our ministry will be ineffective.

5)   Laborers: Everyone has gifts and talents. How are you using them?

I call them divine appointments. Have you had one of those lately? You know, you pray to God so you may have an opportunity to minister. Well, God is very good at replying those ones on the spot (the “went”). A young lady asks permission to sit at my table where I’m studying scripture at a public library. She is shaking, unable to maintain eye contact for more than 2 seconds at a time, constantly looking down, and with cuts scars on her wrists (the “multitude”). I start a conversation and ask if there is anything I can help her with (the “healing every sickness”). She is confused regarding her beliefs in God, and asks me “as a pastor, what do you believe in?” (the “laborers”). She thanks me for my time, exchange contact info, and we pray. Certainly, God answered someone’s prayer this morning (the “pray”).

Divine appointments are richly blessed, and I urge you to pray so the Lord may grant you one a day. In fact, may divine appointments become your lifestyle. The joy will be indescribable, and you will certainly be blessed beyond measure.

Blessings!

-Pr. Sergio Ochaeta

God Our Provider

            Married couples, roommates, siblings, and friends have argued that one will never get to truly know somebody until you live with that individual. I mean, I’ve seen couples who have been married for decades and they seem to communicate through telepathy, finishing each other sentences and all. A little creepy, no? Perhaps a blessing, since the lack of communication skills is the primary reason why we fail to develop strong interpersonal relationships.

            Jeremiah 1:5 turns an interesting corner when the Lord tells this prophet that before He formed him in his mother’s womb God already KNEW him.

                    1.     God knew his heart     &     2.   God new what his necessities were going to be

The verb TO KNOW in Hebrew transliterates to “yada”, which means to be intimately acquainted with someone, at a very deep level, to the point of becoming one. The Lord was making a call to Jeremiah to be a prophet of the nations, but along with the call came a promise: I WILL BE WITH YOU –Jeremiah’s primary necessity.

I say this to emphasize that we are not alone in our daily battles. The Lord wants to fight them for us (Exodus 14:14), and desires not for us to fight them alone –We will lose. Additionally, since He “yada” us, and have called us to His work, God has already made provision for our necessities.

Towards the end of last semester my car started to make this weird noise. I did not pay much attention to it because it was not very loud and sometimes it would go away. However, this semester the noise started to get louder and louder, and when I took it to the mechanic it was diagnosed that it had a bad transmission.

·      $500 for a used tranny (only two transmissions on the entire Island)

·      $200 for labor

As I carefully look back in time I can tell that God KNEW what that noise was and he MADE provision for such problem. I want to thank The Dalles English SDA Church in Oregon and sister Sylvia Macias from the Spanish congregation for being instruments of God, for I received, TWO MONTHS BEFORE I knew I had a transmission problem, the very exact amount of money I needed to replace the transmission of the car. You, family, are a blessing to me.

Have the assurance today, my friend, our Creator KNOWS you, you are not alone, and He will continue to provide for you and your family.

 DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU

The Pursuit of Love

Everybody, regardless of sex, color, religion, social status, young, or old, chubby or skinny, is fascinated by the topic of love and searches for it with a passion. We long for it to be vivid in a sentimental relationship, to grow deeper in our family connections, and to be real with our neighbors, co-workers, friends, and others. In fact, many argue, including the Bible, that human beings are incapable of surviving on this earth without love. Hence, everybody is on that pursuit.

However, many of us have looked for it from certain sources (boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, siblings, friends, dad, mom, sex, alcohol, hobbies, food, work) that have disappointed us. As a result, some have turned their backs on it and others have simply gone hostile and demand it in their own way, silently screaming, "I command you to love me!"

But the fact remains: everybody regardless of his or her situation is on the pursuit of love; they long to love and to be loved.

Ty Gibson, in his book A God Named Desire, quotes different verses of the Bible where the prophet uses the symbol of fire to describe God and His attributes: God’s presence (Ezekiel 1), God’s law (Deut 33:2-3), God’s glory (Ex 24:17), God’s love (Song of Solomon 8), God’s throne (Daniel 7:9-10), and God Himself is “a consuming fire” (Hebrews 12:29). Therefore, Gibson’s logic dictates that “If God’s law= fire, and God’s glory= fire, and God’s love= fire, and God’s throne= fire, then there is some sense in which God’s law, God’s glory, God’s love, and God’s throne are all precisely the same reality” (41).

Such logic thinking makes me see the story of the adulterous woman and the Pharisees, written in John 8, with different eyes: the protagonist of the story is not the woman… but the Pharisees. These religious men were on the pursuit of love just as the woman caught in adultery was. Why? Because God’s law and God’s justice = love. And they were demanding justice and God’s law to be enforced; they were demanding to love and to be loved in their own hostile way.

I wonder what the life of these Pharisees looked like as they were growing up. Did they enjoy the love and affection of their father? Mother? Siblings and friends? What traumas did they go through as adolescents? Did they demand the love they never have from sources that disappointed them, and that’s the reason of their unkind actions towards the woman and others? Did they ride the same rollercoaster you and I ride in our pursuit of love?

Two Lessons:

           1.     God and only God can fill that container of love we all have inside

a.     Don’t search for it from other sources

           2.     Love begets love

a.     Love somebody who is unkind –He or she is just searching to love and to be loved. Seriously.
                   i.     We all know at least one person

                                            

Blessings!

God's love abiding law and the consequences of our decisions

“He who follows my statutes, and is careful to observe my ordinances, acting faithfully—such a one is righteous; he shall surely live, says the Lord God” (Ezekiel 18:9).

            For this 18-year-old youngster, such machine was more than just a horse. The specs for such stallion seduced him little by little to step on the gas and hear that 3.8 L V6 engine roar his 190hp @ 5250 rpm. He had heard such machine would break the quarter-mile at 130mph at fourteen seconds; he could already feel the adrenaline rush through his veins. Next thing he knows, he was being blocked by this black-and-white for the Bronco’s wheels were spinning around 50 miles over the speed limit.

 Being in front of the judge in a court of law is not easy. A city-salaried lawyer is appointed to you, people are all up on your business when they call you to step up in front of the judge, a couple of police officers on the corners stand by in case you need to be arrested, and one sitting up on a throne with a small hammer in his/her hands seems to be anxious to declare you guilty and throw you in jail for the rest of your life. However, I believe they are all nice people… deeply inside… They are simply holding someone accountable for their actions, something many Christians are not very confortable with.

So, the question is, it’s that why we pray a lot? For we do not want to be held accountable for our actions, so we beg for some grace? An entire book of believable pretexts would not do justice to the amount of excuses I built up on my mind to give to the judge when he asked me why was I racing through the city at 100+mph. He listened carefully, but not matter what I said, at the end of my speech he simply asked, “What do you want, son? A night in jail or an entire Sunday of community service?”

Ezekiel 18 turns an interest corner when it comes to our acts, judgment, and justice. The prophet makes emphasis that every body has the freedom of will to choose between good and evil, and the consequences of such decisions will inevitably follow.  God’s statutes and ordinances have already been set forth, and He expects for us not only to believe on His love abiding law but also to follow it. But, “Where is the grace?” some would ask. Well, grace was poured out on a cross around 2,000 years ago. And not just grace but amazing grace. This grace was shed for the forgiveness of sin, and does not symbolize a “get-away-with-anything card.”

            The Lord finishes chapter 18 of Ezekiel by stating that He does not delight in the flaws of His children, admonishing to turn from our transgressions, and promising to give us a new heart and a new spirit when we decide to turn from them. Freedom of will is splattered all over scripture, and the Lord has given us the knowledge to differentiate between good and evil.

Therefore, on this day, may you choose to worship your Creator with actions; following His statutes, carefully observing His ordinances, and acting faithfully and certainly you shall surely live, says the Lord of hosts.

Looking at life from a different perspective

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me

While we are constantly looking forward for God to respond our prayers, He Himself also awaits anxiously to answer each and every single one of them. “God, give me the opportunity to witness to one of your special children on the plane. Whoever I sit next to, prepare our hearts and simply bless.” This was my prayer a couple of months ago as I was buying my Christmas-break plane ticket. Certainly, God was looking forward for this moment.

It was a rough week. Final examination’s days are the most challenging time of the semester. It was the reciprocal feeling among several friends that this semester, by far, has been the most demanding one of our entire college career. But we all made it; some running, others jogging, and a few of us crawling with a sore throat and a fever on the side with no energy whatsoever to celebrate. Sleep deprived and all, I sat at window-seat 28A with the hope that the eagle would come thru with his promise to take me 7,000 miles across the American continent. Right next to me sat Luz María.

            Jesus, on the other hand, was also hoping that I would come through with my promise I made two months ago. “Are you a Christian?” Luz María asked.  “Oh snap! The prayer!” I immediately thought.  “Yes”, I replied. And then her question followed: “There are so many things in the Bible that are really hard to understand, you know?” I silently prayed… “God, lead.”

            But what kind of question would she asked? “Bring it on,” I thought. It’s time to unload all that theology I’ve learned during these semesters. Will I tell her about the Qal, Nifal, Piel, Pual, Hiphil, Hophal, and Hithpael Hebrew stem? About the historical Jesus and it’s theology? Or maybe about how we can look at the NA²⁷ and the variants of the text so we can come to a better translation of the passage for a superior understanding? Naw, I think she’ll ask about some contradictions the Bible seems to project; I’ll answer with some hermeneutics’ principles.

            Her question, “My daughter suffered an accident in the middle of her 15^th birthday party, and has been laying on a bed for the past six years; she is a vegetable. Why did God allow that to happen?” She continued on expressing her sadness and desire for things to be differently. I, on the other hand, went blank. How do you reply to such question?

            Nevertheless, Jesus was leading the conversation. After sharing a few verses with her, we landed on Matthew 25:33: "For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.” 

           

            I then whispered, “Do you know that when you bath, feed, clean, kiss and hug your precious child on that bed, you are bathing, feeding, cleaning, kissing and hugging Jesus himself? You, Luz María, have the privilege of having a very intimate relationship with our savior through your special daughter. “ While looking at the horizon, at 34,000 feet in the air, with a peculiar smile she replied, “Wow! I had never seen it that way!” A “thank you” and a prayer concluded our conversation.

            The lack of an associate, bachelor, and/or a master degree in religion is not an impediment for God to use you mightily to witness and touch His people’s hearts. Remember that the Holy Spirit is the one who convinces of sin. Therefore, I invite you today to pray the prayer that will enable you to become and instrument of the Lord and be part of the blessing to change someone’s perspective of life. You can change a one today. You are only one short prayer away.

Blessings!

Sergio Ochaeta