Sometimes I just want to quit

I believe in God not because religion was taught to me but because I have always felt His presence in my life from childhood. I have vivid memories of this. For example, crying out loud in pain because my legs would hurt at night, but feeling peace and falling asleep whenever my aunt would pray over me after handing me a crucifix. I have never heard my parents asking me to go to church, or forcing me to go, yet I remember many occasions, as I child and teenager, in which I would ride my bike to church singing with joy all by my self.

Church is not something I go to but something I have become, I am part of the body of Christ. And with that, throughout time and experiences, I’ve grown in my relationship with Him. I’ve had my ups but I’ve also had my downs. Nevertheless, time after time, He continues to lift me up with His righteous hand encouraging me to keep moving forward, that the best is yet to come, that there are many promises and dreams He wants to give me in life. However, there have been times that I simply want to quit.

I don’t know what kind of Christian you are and how strong your relationship is with God but I am going to assume that you are not a child in the faith. In fact, this blog goes to those who have known Christ for a good while now, but sometimes feel encouraged to throw the towel and walk away because life is not that simple, sometimes sad, and perhaps confusing. I am a child, servant, and minister of God. I preach the good news for a living, in spite of that, I too go through those rough patches where I see nothing but the negative and desire to kiss everything goodbye. However, I continue to find my strength in the Lord.

Transparency and honesty in our relationship with God goes beyond measure. It is perhaps the secret ingredient in my relationship with Jesus. I have expressed to him my dislikes, discontentment, frustrations, hatred, and all the negative things you can possibly think. And yet, regardless of how upset I may be, He always finds a way to talk to me, at my level, in my vocabulary, according to my faith and understanding. This morning he shared a Love Note with me, which I want to share with you.

“Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. THEN you will receive all that he has promised” –Hebrews 10:36

I strongly believe, dear brother/sister, in Jeremiah 33:3 where He promises that when we seek Him He’ll answer. I believe in a God who speaks and guides. He gives hope, and this hope gives strength to continue walking, to lift up our feet and to do His will because His will is for our own benefit; for He wants the best of the best for us.

God has given you an identity, a personality. My desire is that you may be who you are with Him. Be transparent. Be honest. Open your heart and seek Him. Your current situation may not change but you will. Remember that the same boiling water that hardens the egg also softens the potato. The circumstance do not matter much. It is you who matter. It is you who God wants to change and not so much what you are going through.

Blessings!

-Pr. Sergio Ochaeta