I was recently asked at my church to speak to teens on the
topic of dating. This, my friend, is even more controversial than the topic
regarding music! Because it seems to me that men and women are two different
species: We look, function, act, smell, and communicate differently. Speaking
of which, I recently learned that there are 5 deadly terms used by a woman:
· * “Fine:” This is the word women use to end an
argument when she knows she is right but needs you to stop speaking.
· * “Nothing:” Means something & you need to be
worried
· * “Go ahead:” This is a dare, not permission. Do
not do it!
· * “That’s ok:” She is thinking long & hard on
how and when you will pay for your mistake
· * “Wow:” This is not a compliment; she is amazed
that one person could be so ignorant.
You see? However, the Lord, in His infinite wisdom saw that
“it was not good for man to be alone”[1]
and that “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh.”[2]
# 1: God is not
a withholder
“Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of
the garden’”[3] This was the implicit lie Satan sold Eve on
the Garden of Eden. In other words, God withholds and forbids His people of
everything and that of which is is GOOD.
·
You can’t go dancing
·
You can’t have fun on the Sabbath
·
You can’t listen to music
·
You can’t wear jewelry
·
You can’t dress like everyone else does
o
Shorts that cover your ankle are allowed, btw.
·
You can’t date until you are older
·
And you certainly CANNOT have sex
However, Scripture teaches me that “For as many as are the
promises of God, in Him they are YES; therefore also through Him is our Amen to
the glory of God through us.”[4]
Our God is a God of “Yes”, and wants to give us the best of
the best.
#2: It is
normal to want to be in a dating relationship
“But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to
him.”[5]
“Let Us make man in Our image according to Our likeness.”[6]
“God is love.”[7]
Scripture here seems to suggest, very loudly, that we have been engineered to
love and to be loved. Honestly, I don’t know why parents freak out when their
teenage girl wants to start dating. Did they forget they were once teenagers
and had the same hormone rush their young ones now have? Even the Backstreet
boys sang about it, “Tell me the meaning of being lonely.” (Please tell me you
know this song…)
“My daughters will be the first Adventists nuns”, I once heard
someone express (joking of course). We all have that necessity to be with
someone. Regardless of the age, everyone feels attracted to the opposite sex.
IT IS NORMAL, and don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.
#3: Enjoy the
moment of your life
“Rejoice with the woman of your youth. As a loving deer and
a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be
enraptured with her love”[8]
–Can someone praise the Lord for this verse!–
Matt Killingworth, a health and society scholar, who
obtained his doctorate in Psychology with Harvard University, wrote his thesis
on happiness and states that there is no such thing as happiness but just
moments of happiness.[9]
Perhaps he is right since scripture states, “to everything there is a time. A
time to be born, and a time to die. A time to break down and a time to build
up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh…”[10]
What does this mean?
1)
If you are in a dating relationship then you are
suppose to enjoy it!
2)
If you are single then enjoy it too!
a.
(think of all the money you can save!...
Kidding…)
Dating is fun and is good, but you might ruin it along the
way. I know several couples who have been dating a while now, and their
courtship has turned into a manipulative, obsessive, pointless, unhealthy
relationship. They are not happy but they still fight at it to “make things
work” because “they love each other.”
Remember, there is a time to build up but there is also a
time break up.
Let the boy sing, "I should have bought you flowers... And held your hand..." No one ever died from a broken heart.
A very wise king once said, “You who are young, be happy
while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all
these thins God will bring you into judgment.”[11]
Truth #4: Know who
you are: IDENTITY
The Bible does not say how old one should be in order to
date or get married. Sarah, wife of Abraham, was around 90 years old when she
gave birth to Isaac. On the other hand, Mary, who is described as a woman after
God’s heart, was only a teenager when gave birth to Jesus (and married Joseph).
Both of these women knew who they were and their purpose in life. You have
heard the saying from out Latino mothers, “Mocoso, no te sabes limpiar las
nalgas y ya quieres tener novia!”. I’m sorry, but there is no fair translation
that would do justice to such traditional statement!
·
Are you a David? –Teenage warrior for God
·
Are you a Samuel? –Dedicated to the Lord from a
very young age
·
Are you a Jeremiah? –Set apart to be a prophet
(who never married, btw)
·
Are you a Solomon? –I hope not.
·
Are you a Ahab (Jezebel’s husband)? Superman…
Supermandilón (Spanish joke).
At any rate, know who you are. Pray about what God wants for
you, where God wants you to go, and who He wants you to court. Remember, “Seek
first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be given to you as well.”[12]
Blessings,
Pr. Sergio Ochaeta
Pr. Sergio Ochaeta
